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This is Post Partum
Before I even became pregnant, I wasn't really sure if kids would be in my future. I was completely on the fence. The selfish part of me enjoyed staying out late, heading out of town for a weekend last minute, drinking pints at a local pub, and bouncing around between men.
I struggled to take care of my fur babies, let alone real babies.
And then I met him. The he who forced me to change my pattern of serial dating. The more time we spent together, the more I wanted to love him. While we were planning our wedding, we decided kids would be in our future.
Without a second thought, I stopped taking my birth control, purchased a basal body thermometer, downloaded a Trying to Conceive app on my cell phone, and we got to work.
After about four months of trying, we finally conceived our first.
It was exciting. We were both deliriously excited. We watched as my belly and my appetite grew. We picked out names and discussed our parenting styles. It was pretty much the perfect pregnancy, complete with that famed pregnancy glow.
What I didn't expect was how difficult the post partum period would be.
I feel like someone should have warned me that this period of my life wasn't all sunshine and smiley faces.
It was hard. Like really hard.
You bleed. A lot. And for a long time. And so do your nipples.
Sleep becomes a luxury, and you spend more time awake during the night than you do sleeping.
Your hair falls out -- not just a strand here or there, but handfuls. And it appears to be even worse after wearing your hair up for a few days, which is something else I didn't expect.
Your personal hygiene takes a nosedive. Gone are the days of applying make-up, washing your hair regularly, and styling it before heading out of the house. You'll be lucky if you even get to brush your teeth in the mornings.
You'll actually experience the feeling of being "touched out." During the first few weeks, newborns tend to nurse every 45 minutes to an hour. After experiencing that, the thought of having anyone else touch you makes your skin crawl.
You'll never feel as lonely as you do when you're home with your newborn baby. Mothering is the most isolating experience in the whole world. Even with your baby always within reach, you'll feel so completely and utterly alone.
Your friends will begin to drop off. As you adjust to your new role, you'll discover the majority of your friends will stop visiting and calling. Life hasn't changed for them, but it has for you. They'll continue to live the way they did before your baby arrived, which means you'll hardly see them anymore.
Your relationship with your significant other will change. A lot. You'll experience even more highs and lows than you ever have. One minute you'll feel resentment, the next you'll marvel at how much you love them. It's a really weird experience.
I absolutely love my children, and I would go through post partum hell for them all over again. I just wish someone had told me what I was getting myself into.